Thursday, June 28, 2012

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad..

Hey, wonderful amazing people wherever you are!

I am getting ready to go to San Clemente on Saturday for six days doing outreach there and its going to be gnarly. However I'm not sure I'm going to have contact with the outside world due to internet connection and all that. I thought I would post something that I have had revelation about lately or have just been learning. Seeing as how this point in my school of ministry development is the last half of the time I am spending here, I thought it would be appropriate to post something about the overall experience I have had here. 

It has definitely been hard haha. I have grown a lot with the people I have reconnected with and chosen to forgive from past stuff I have been through. 
The Internships we have been given are nothing short of a straight up blessing the kids in mine are so awesome. Most of the teachings we have had I have been able to take a lot from.
I was told before I came here I would be stretched and I have been so much haha. In being in a leadership position, the things I teach and the things I have had to learn the hard way.

As usual with like travelling or coming to California and being away from home, friends, family and an amazing church you struggle with maybe a sort of loneliness. So in that aspect I'm so stoked to be able to be home and see familiar faces again, be attending my church regularly and have legitimate time for God.
As of late God has been revealing some pretty gnarly stuff as to what my future is going to look like and I'm so excited.
Yesterday we had a speaker with the school of circuit riders that was so awesome. His name is Andy Byrd and he talked about having a relationship focused life in place of having a goal focused life. 
He talked about how we have created a self help addicted society. That we do such an awful job of recognizing our inheritance in God that we wake up full of insecurities and worry. I find it funny but also extremely sad.
I think its unbelievable how we have verses like Matthew 22:37-40 and john 15:7 in the bible and act sometimes as if they don't exist. We are all guilty of this, it sucks so bad. I think, like Andy said it has a lot to do with understanding or even really believing in what we preach or why we even get up Sunday morning. While being in California I have been confused about the purpose of our lives. Is it to tell people about the death Jesus suffered for us? That he was the son of God? To preach the gospel and do the commission?

My very good friend told me a story the other day of this beach somewhere, where an alarming amount of starfish were washing up on the beach and every morning an old man would walk down to the beach and throw them back into the ocean. One day a stranger approached him and asked, "Why do you bother, the numbers are too great and they will all die eventually." to which the old man replied, "For the few I do save it is worth it." 
This story stuck with me the past few days and I thought to myself, "That's just like me!"

I have to admit that I looked at life as kind of a waiting room to die and go to heaven. I was under the impression the world was hopeless. Not on an individual level but on a grand scale. Culture, the american machine, consumerism, I have found that despite all of this. The God I believe in would not use me to save a few starfish like this old man in a futile attempt to make a difference, He would give me the strength courage and strategy to pick every single starfish I could and doggy paddle them to a place they would no longer wash up.  My God is not fictitious, He is not dead. The things we are taught aren't a bunch of crap. He really does love us and He really just wants us to sincerely wholeheartedly love him back, because of this I understand the point of it all. 
We have been so desensitized  to the simple gospel, the john 3:16 the "Jesus loves you" I don't remember the last time I have heard Jesus loves you and received it as if He really does. It bums me out how self absorbed we have become. 

In spite of how our culture is so bad that our young people see adult-hood as somewhere they don't want to go and if they do they will escape from it with filling their lives with noise to escape. There is an inconceivable amount of hope for us and our world. Its not about travelling everywhere and having the hottest ministry or having the most kids or giving your life over to missions (Unless that's something God has called you to.). Its about having a real tangible relationship with our father. Through this comes the fruit of the spirit.

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23 


So I guess I have learned a lot in the past 8 months about love and forgiveness. The thing I know the most in my heart now more than every is that I will not settle for a life short of the things we have been promised if we remain faithful.

I continue to be blessed by being a leader of champions, by allowing God to work in my heart, in my relationships and remaining teachable. 

Thank you guys so much for supporting me and taking the time to read this giant novel I just wrote, you are all amazing and extremely loved.

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